Uncut

I have this theory, well I don’t take full credit for it really, it was brought to my attention by Billy Crystal. In his role during “When Harry met Sally” he stated that men and women could never really be friends, the sex part always gets in the way, and I believe it to be true. Now before you rush to disagree to insisting you have a ton of opposite sex friends, hear me out. I do not mean to say you necessarily always desire every man or woman in a friendship, but more than likely, based on our very biology, the thought has passed your mind or the other persons mind before. You may not desire a friend in the slightest, yet in some way you want them to desire you, you want to be desirable, especially to the opposite sex, no one is excluded. 

This very dynamic is the structure of ultimate disaster to the friendship, even if inclinations are never acted upon, the feeling is always present. Because we are human, born to procreate, our minds do not understand the limits and social practices of friendship, and any able partner is a target of our pent up sexual frustrations. We may never choose to release them until one drunken night and play it off as a “big mistake” but these thoughts can never leave our minds. 

I have always struggled in friendships with men, most of that is perhaps based on my many trust issues with their gender, and the sisterly environment I was raised in, but I have come to find most male attention towards me is based on an underlying attraction, never on genuine friendship. Because the male is perfectly aware I possess and come intact with the organs of sexual pleasure he desires why ever would he want to be friends? that is precisely what his meandering ape like companions are for, to find the same pointless humor funny, enthuse about violent video games and professional sports. 

And even if by chance you do happen to have all the same interests and personality traits as your opposite sex “friend” you are aware, as is the other person, that you could have all that AND sex. Thus complicating the relationship from any kind of one with your own gender. This perplexes us, blurs lines, the friendship is almost a barrier for what your animal instinct is instructing.

I use to have a very good male friend, whom I often did blur the lines with, friend, lover, all the same. But I came to find he was never really either. Now there is not a single male friend I could claim to have who was never confessed some blurring of that line, which it is preposterous to create in the first place. The reason women are so fixated on nabbing a “boyfriend” is because it is a certain sediment, the title is an oxymoron, two opposites together like jumbo shrimp. It is actually such a baffling concept to add the word boy, or girl to the word friend that we have set it aside as a term of commitment and companionship that has to be earned and taken seriously. And of course you can only have one, then any other “friendships” with the opposite sex are severely scrutinized. any boyfriend is more than likely to become jealous of the other boys you insist are “just a friend,” in his cloud of anger he has realized what we all should, that friendship between men and women are not a reality, we are all still prone to are human desires, even more so with an individual we connect with.